youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
never play flip cup with pint glasses
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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