I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
