soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
