I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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