it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
