Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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