i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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