does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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