then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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