well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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