He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize