that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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