you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want nice things and good sex
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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