real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize