Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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