this beer tastes like vomit already
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
