She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
