Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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