At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
