awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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