I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She even gives head with a lisp.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
