College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize