so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
