kristin has been a bad kristin
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
