But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
