I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
