and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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