I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
