one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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