yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
