official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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