I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
