Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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