Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
