i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
