Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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