Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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