I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
