well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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