He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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