I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
