i think my tv is drunk
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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