Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You need Xanax blowdarts
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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