dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
