No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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