The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
