1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
