Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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