Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
