it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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