Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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