Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
