those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
