They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
they're like a gay fantastic four
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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