the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize