If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
