My hand turned me down
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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