Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
