After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
