we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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