what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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