I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
