you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
