What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
