i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize