I forgot how hot balto sounded
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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