The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Randomize
