Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
