i permit you to call me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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