Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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