Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I want you more than these girls want KFC
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
