They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i out mim tonsoeep
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