I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is my gift to your gina
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
